I either have to have all of you, or none of you at all. I know this to be certain. You are it for me. But i can’t have just some of you. I need all of you, or I will constantly feel like i’m drowning. If i have to wait for you I will. I won’t settle for less then someone like you. But if I do find that someone, and he can give me all, I might stop waiting. Maybe. I feel a bit desperate I suppose. I long to be held like everyone does. And to fall asleep in someones arms. To feel someones warmth against mine. But we can’t have this now. And I am not willing to settle. To here you say I love you to me would fill me. Because I love you so much. Because its something I crave. Because you painted a picture of the perfect life for me. Because you were sweet. Because you were handsome. Because you were driven. Because you came through when it mattered. I won’t settle. Its taking everything i have in me right now not to tell him I miss him. What could it hurt? But what could it accomplish. Nothing. Its empty air. Its giving a piece of myself away to him, that will change nothing. But i still want him to know. Because it would make me so incredibly full to here it from him.
For you I’d wait ‘til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you’ll come and set me free
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me
And I will wait, I will wait for you
In a telescope lens when all you want is friends
I’ll see you soon.
To be young is to be innocent. We age through a process of collecting scars. Older people seem wiser because they wear layers of armor they think will stop them from getting damaged. But even if your dressed head to toe in steel, nothing can keep you from getting wounded. The only thing we can do is try not to give others any new scars.
Its a cycle.
It only takes getting hurt once to cause you to build up your armor and loose your ability to trust.
And because of the steel now surrounding your heart, you end up hurting the next person who tries to get in. Whether you realize you did or not.
And then this person gets their armor, and ends up hurting someone else, and so on, and so on.
Until we’re all just damaged.
Unable to love or be loved.